HNtWYN: A Confession (AND a warning…)

I’m afraid I have an admission to make. Please – sit down before you read this. It shames me to say it. It breaks my heart to even think of it! But I feel I must tell you, my faithful readers. I owe it to you. You deserve the truth. You see… I’ve been writing. […] […]

It’s MAGIC all right…

Oh, Dan – you think you’re so clever, don’t you? If only it was so easy. What’s that I hear? A cat meowing? And the subtle tones of dust falling from its fur? Back to the vac for me. […]

HNtWYN: Drunk History (NSFW)

Finally. FINALLY! Someone has found the sweet spot at the intersection of booze, film and American history. Don’t worry, I know what you’re thinking: “But Brett – I didn’t realize there WAS a sweet spot at that intersection. I thought it was just some homeless dude in a raincoat farting and asking for spare corks?” […] […]

HNtoWYN: The Census

It’s that time again, kiddies! The time when the federal government lines everybody up and counts heads. Gotta make sure the stormtroopers have enough bullets when the revolution comes, you know! All kidding aside, there’s a lot of weird misinformation and outright kooky paranoia going around right now about the Census. We here at Cat […] […]

Moved at last. MOVED AT LAST! Thank Dog Almighty, we are moved at last!

That’s right, my pretties. I, your humble correspondent, and all the wise folk here at Cat Vacuuming have FINALLY finished the moving!! Let me tell you, the move was fraught with peril. Rife with hardship! And simply awash in cardboard boxes and packing tape. Why, it was all I could do to sit in my […] […]

Avatar - a review or 'Giant Robot Blue Monkey Knife Fight Says What?'

You remember TRON, right? Jeff Bridges is a computer programmer reduced to scamming on teenagers from his loft above the video arcade (remember when you had to GO SOMEWHERE DANK AND SMELLY if you wanted to play video games??) because he got fired from his cush job designing games like STAR INVADERS and BLASTEROIDS. But […] […]

How Not To Write Your Novel: Moving

I think I may have hit on something here – a sort of magic bullet for use against the impending Bad End of finishing a novel. As you may have gathered from the title (You’re bright kitties, aren’t you?) MOVING is it. And I don’t mean, you know, leaning back and forth from one butt […] […]

How Not to Write Your Novel: Chatroulette... ahhh, on second thought...

So I heard a story about this new(ish) site on the web called NOW BE CAREFUL IF YOU CLICK THAT LINK!! See, Chatroulette is this new… hmmm… game. Yeah – let’s call it a ‘game’. In this game you click a button and are magically connected to some stranger with a webcam who happens […] […]

How Not to Write Your Novel: Piracy

The other day I had this feeling. And as I felt this feeling I said to myself, “Self? What IS this feeling?” “That feeling is writing,” I said. “Oh right! I remember,” I said to me. “It feels good! Maybe I should go and do some.” “Ignore it. It’s a lie. The cake is a […] […]

How Not to Write Your Novel: Zombies

I know what you’re thinking: Zombies, Brett? Really? I know it’s not fashionable to believe in zombies these days, but how are they any less real than the other things you spend your time doing instead of writing? Pursuing physical fitness? Come on – who are you trying to fool? Learning Chinese? Seriously – who […] […]