Brett WR Smith is a writer and novelist. He knows this because everywhere he goes people say ‘You must be a writer (novelist). Only writers (novelists) and lumberjacks go around wearing that much flannel and facial hair. And lumberjacks don’t have soft hands.’

Brett does not dispute this as it is generally considered unseemly to argue with the mentally ill. Rather, he rubs his silky-smooth palms together and goes on not writing the book he has successfully not written for the last five years.