That’s right, my pretties. I, your humble correspondent, and all the wise folk here at Cat Vacuuming have FINALLY finished the moving!! Let me tell you, the move was fraught with peril. Rife with hardship! And simply awash in cardboard boxes and packing tape. Why, it was all I could do to sit in my sedan chair and tell my minions where everything must go!
But it’s over now, at last, and I can get back to the very important business of not writing my book.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “But BW, don’t you need to take a rest? Wouldn’t it be wise to take another week or two to recoup, regroup, and unwind a little before diving back into the dire task of procrastination?”
Yes. I suppose it would. But that’s just goes to show you how dedicated I AM! I’m here. I’m here for you, my pretties. Because I care. I hope you all haven’t been WRITING or anything. I wouldn’t want to be forced to punish anyone, after all.
And furthermore, I have not been idle these past weeks! Even aside from the whole lackey-direction thing, I have been hard at work conceiving of new and innovative techniques to teach you that you may be spared the burden of completing your work-in-progress and meeting the Bad End to which every poor, unfortunate ‘novelist’ comes.
So rest easy, my young apprentices. Master has returned. And watch this space for wisdom and guidance! Who knows? It just might turn up.
Be good, kittens. And whatever you do…
DON’T WRITE
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