We here at Cat Vacuuming are DETERMINED to help you, dear reader, avoid writing that novel you’ve been prattling on about for so long. We have only your best interests at heart. We’re here for you. And there for you. Sadly, we can’t be EVERYWHERE for you, but we try! To that end, I’m here to inaugurate the first tweet in an ongoing series we’ve named (after painstaking meetings with our creative directors, editors, a brief stint in the county lockup, and some remarkably fruitful drinking games) THE LIST.

We realize that sometimes you need on-the-spot discouragement, immediate distraction. When that writing bug bites, you need Cat Vacuuming to be RIGHT THERE to stop you getting up to something you’ll regret. THE LIST is your ticket to ad hoc, off-the-cuff, as-you-need-it procrastination. Subscribe to our twitter feed and we will deliver to you free of charge periodic tips, tricks, and tasks to perform that will keep you not writing for YEARS*.

DO NOT EXPECT US. We strike in the dead of night**! No one expects the… wait, that’s been done. No – this is Cat Vacuuming: Commando-style!

All you need to do is FOLLOW.  (Have you ever noticed how odd that word looks in all-caps and bold? I hardly recognized it…) And remember – this is for your own good.

Good tweeting to you and all of your kin. And whatever you do…


*Cat Vacuuming makes no promises, guarantees or warranties regarding the delivery of services, real or imagined. But we might make you laugh now and then. If you’re nice and DO WHAT I SAY!

**For certain values of ‘night’ including ‘dusk’, ‘dawn’, ‘now and then’ and that time between when an eclipse starts and the frogs begin to fall from the sky.

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